Smashers School of Destruction
by sturm6972
Summary: This is my first fic. Not the greatest. Someone decided that they should start a school for intelligent kids and, of course, the Smashers! It's CH. 7!!! R&R, and don't make me send a monkey after you!!
1. Chapter 1 GET UP!

Disclaimer: I do not own any Smash Bros. characters.

  


_In a galaxy not very far away, that is very similar to ours,_

_actually it is ours, live a group of idiots who decided to open a school,_

_This school is designed for all Smashers who wish to come, present and future, (and past),_

_and smart kids such as:_

_the lunatic author Ryan (sturm6972 fanfic penname) and_

_his strange, funny friend Di-Khiem Tran (Di for short (Dedede123 fanfic penname))._

_The first day of school is about to begin_...

  


RINGRINGRINGRING

  


Ryan: Stupid alarm clock...

  


Di: Why the hell do we have to get up so early....

  


Link: Because it's our first day at the Smasher's School of Destruction.

  


Marth: So? I would care why?

  


Mario: Get your @$$es up and letsa go!

  


Roy: SHUT UP!!! [snore]

  


(Early riser Mario leaves for school early)

  


Ryan: Di, get up and wake Roy. Be careful of his sleeping slash disorder.

  


Roy: (slash, slash) mumble...mumble...funny monkeys....hee....hee (slash, slash)

  


Di: Wake up Roy... (Di shakes Roy)(slash) OW!!!!!!! Son of a b****! F***ING @$$hole!!!!!!!!!! Oh damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn......

  


Roy: What??!! What?! I'm up, geez.

  


Di: You came sooooo... close to cutting my arm off.

  


Roy: So? No loss for you, not that you're useful...

  


Di: Ohhh... You're gonna get it now....

  


Breakfast

  


Roy: Uhhhh... so many bruises in so many places.

  


Di: I agree, I hate you.

  


Roy: I hate you more.

  


Di: I hate you most.

  


Roy: I hate you times 2.

  


Di: I hate you times 10.

  


Roy: I hate you times 1,000.

  


Di: I hate you times 100,000.

  


Roy: I hate you times infinity.

  


Di: I hate you infinity times infinity.

  


Roy: Want some Cheerios?

  


Di: Okay.

  


Ryan: You losers.... Let's go.


	2. Chapter 2 First Day

************************

Thanks to those of you who reviewed my story.

You gave me a motive to continue.

Hope you like the second chapter.

************************

****

On the Way to School

Roy: WOW! The ground is so frozen that I can pretend I'm skating! (Tries to skate and falls flat on face.)

Di: HA HA!!!

Roy: SHUT UP!!! Ow…

Ryan: Why can't you just cut it out. We only just GOT UP!!! You have all day to argue!!!

Di: So? Why can't we fight now?

Ryan: [sigh] Sometimes I wish you would both just fight to the death and get it all over with.

Marth: (Coming around corner) Hey guys! What's up?

Ryan: Oh, the usual dueling idiots (Roy and Di glare at Ryan). What's up with you?

Marth: Not much, are you attending the "School of Destruction" too? Stupid name in my opinion.

Ryan: Yes-HEY!!! I CAME UP WITH THAT NAME YOU F***ING IMBECILE!!!

Marth: Oh yeah, I forgot you were the author. Sorry.

Di: HEY!!! I'm an author too!

Marth: And?

Di: Oh yeah, you got a point, I didn't write this story.

Ryan: (slapping forehead) Idiots…

Di: I HEARD THAT!!!

(Pichu joins us as he walks around the next corner.)

Pichu: Whatcha guys talkin about?

Ryan: The continuous feuding that occurs among us.

Pichu: What's a feud?

Di: HEY!!! IT WAS MY F***ING IDEA TO MAKE PICHU DUMB AS A NAIL IN MY STORY!!!

Ryan: Yea, so? You're my friend; so, I can steal your ideas.

Di: Good enough for me.

Pichu: What's a doornail?

Ryan: Uhh…

****

Channel 1 Newscast and Period 1

Announcer: Welcome to the Smasher's School of Destruction-

Marth: That name sucks!!!

Announcer: These are two way speakers and I can hear you!!!

Marth: Aw, crap.

Announcer: Anyway, we all start the day off at the school by watching the Channel 1 newscast every morning. This is followed by eight periods of school, including your lunch period, Period 6. So, let's get started. Teachers, turn on your classroom TVs.

(Our teacher, Mrs. Stratton, turns on TV to reveal two news anchors.)

News Anchor 1: Today, we will address the problem that faces us every day. Take the school bus or walk to school.

News Anchor 2: It is proven that walking to school is better for growing kids…

(Chan. 1 goes on for about 20 minutes.)

Mrs. Stratton: In this class, we will be learning about Algebra, hence the name Algebra 1. Our first unit is all about fractions.

(Several groans are heard throughout the class.)

Mrs. Stratton: Don't give up on fractions that quickly! At least try to have fun! You haven't figured out why this school is called the School of Destruction! (Platform rises out of center of room.) Well, who's first? We'll be studying fractions by seeing how fractions of damage affect fighters.

Class: O_O

Mewtwo: OHH! OHH! PICK ME!!! PICK ME!!!

Mrs. Stratton: Okay, Mewtwo and… PICHU!!!

Pichu: What's a fraction?

(Class groans. Several matches of fighting ensue.)

****

After Class

Mewtwo: [groan] I hope the next f***ing period is less physical.

Ryan: I got just as many bruises as you b****. Besides, don't worry, next is Language Arts, how can that be physical?

(Ryan's friend Matt walks out of the classroom.)

Roy: Who the hell are you?! I thought only Ryan, Di, and the Smashers were allowed in this school.

Matt: Correction, the Smashers and extremely smart kids.

Mewtwo: Oh, then Ryan, why the f***ing hell didn't you put him (Ryan's friend Edward walks into hall.) or him into the f***ing storyline?!

Ryan: I dunno. Guess I forgot.

Pichu: What's a storyline?

Mewtwo: [groan] F***ing imbecile…


	3. Chapter 3 CSAPS and Third Period

************************ Hope you like the third chapter. And thanks for the story dedication LiLZelda. ************************  
  
Period 2 (Language Arts)  
  
Edward: You think that you are sooooo smart, don't you Marth?  
  
Marth: Smarter than you anyway.  
  
Edward: Well. IT'S STILL MY XBOX!!!!  
  
Marth: We weren't even talking about your Xbox, you nut!!  
  
Edward: It's still mine.  
  
Marth: You're an f***ing imbecile.  
  
Edward: It's still my Xbox!!!  
  
Roy: SHUT UP!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE SUCH B****ES CAN CONTINUE TO GO ON AND ON LIKE THAT-  
  
Edward: MY XBOX!!! STAY AWA-  
  
DING. DING.DING.  
  
Mrs. Reese: Class has begun, so, stop cussing your heads off.  
  
Edward: Okay.  
  
Mrs. Reese: Anyway, you must have known from your previous school that the CSAP (Colorado Student Assessment Program) time was coming up. Well, unfortunately they are today, your first day of school. However, there is only one test compared to one math, one writing, and one reading. And, I have heard that the tests are really easy and. stupid.  
  
Edward: Yay.  
  
Class: Awww.  
  
Edward: Russians are very smart, I could take the test blindfolded-  
  
Di: No you couldn't.  
  
Edward: SO!!! WHO ASKED YOU!!!  
  
Mrs. Reese: [sigh] Okay, let's begin.  
  
(Hands CSAP's out and tells class to begin.)  
  
CSAP Question 1: Do you see sap?  
  
A: Yes  
  
B: No C: Don't ask me.  
  
CSAP Question 2: Go out to a tree. Do you see sap? A: Yes B: No C: I already said no, now stop asking.  
  
CSAP Question 3: Peel a piece of bark off the tree. Do you see sap? A: Yes B: No C: NO!!! GET AWAY FROM ME YOU F***ING IMBECILES!!! [whimper, whimper]  
  
CSAP Question 4: What was your opinion of this test? A: I HATE IT!!! B: I love and cherish it forever. C: I need to go to the bathroom. D: I REALLY need to go to the bathroom. E: Your test has made me completely insane and now I think I'm going to destroy the entire f***ing world. [hee, hee, crazed laughter, etc.]  
  
Mrs. Reese: Okay, is everyone done?  
  
Most of Class: Yes.  
  
(The rest of the kids are foaming at the mouth.)  
  
Mrs. Reese: Okay.. That seems to have taken the whole period. When the bell rings, you are free to go.  
  
DING. DING. DING.  
  
Matt: Have a good day Mrs. Reese.  
  
Jenny: Suck-up.  
  
Mewtwo: AHHH!!! [starts foaming at mouth (again)] More people. stupid test. [faints].  
  
Matt: That was a little strange.  
  
Jenny: Ya, let's go.  
  
Between 2nd and 3rd period  
  
Falco and Fox: Yay. spanish. My "greatest" subject.  
  
Fiery26: Aww. you better like it or I'll kick you.  
  
Jenny: And, I'll poke you.  
  
Fox: Wow, scary. The Poke-a-nator.  
  
(Jenny pokes Fox in the arm and Fiery26 kicks Falco.)  
  
Fox: OWW!!! I'll never insult the poke again. that really hurt.  
  
Falco: [groan] I agree, let's run.  
  
Ryan: Ha, ha. You learn the power of JENNY!!!  
  
Jenny: If you insult me in this story, I'll kill you in the blink of an eye.  
  
Ryan: I believe you.  
  
Edward: So, do I.  
  
Jenny: And who asked you?  
  
Edward: I dunno. IT'S MY XBOX!!!  
  
(Jenny pokes and Fiery26 kicks Edward.)  
  
Edward: Oww.  
  
Jenny: YAY!!! CAN I POKE YOU AGAIN?!?!  
  
(Edward screams and runs like hell to 3rd period.)  
  
3rd period (Spanish)  
  
Mrs. Van der Merwe: Buenos dias.  
  
Class: Buenos dias, Sra. V!  
  
Mrs. V: Today we will be learning about comida (food).  
  
Class: YAY!!!  
  
Edward: OH!!! OH!!! DO WE GET TO EAT FOOD???  
  
Mrs. V: No.  
  
Class: Awww..  
  
Mrs. V: Anyway, first there is huevos, which means eggs.  
  
Class: YAY!!!  
  
Mrs. V: Couldn't you stop with all the f***ing "yays."  
  
Class: O_O The teacher cussed.  
  
Mrs. V: Haven't you learned that cussing is allowed in this school.  
  
Class: Well, you got a f**ing good point.  
  
Mrs. V: Don't over-abuse your privileges you dumb@$$es.  
  
Matt: Don't over-abuse yours.  
  
Mrs. V: [sigh] Okay, you got a point but don't push it.  
  
Mrs. V: Next, is la pina (tilde over n).  
  
Class: YAY!!!  
  
Mrs. V: AHHHHHH!!!!!! I understand your need to use the f***ing word "yay," but could you use it LESS OFTEN!!!!!!!!!  
  
Class: Okay.  
  
Edward: Yay!!! Wooden giraffes!!!! YAY!!!!!  
  
Ms. V: I'm gonna strangle you.  
  
40 minutes and 198,763 yays later.  
  
DING DING DING  
  
Mrs. V: NOW LEAVE!!  
  
Edward: Ohh. poor giraffee. I can't believe we made it through the class alive. What do you think giraffee?  
  
Giraffee: .  
  
Edward: I agree giraffee, how could you withstand that?  
  
Giraffee: .  
  
Edward: Okay, what's next?  
  
Giraffee: .  
  
Edward: Oh, that's right, Tech Ed., where you were conceived.  
  
Giraffee: .  
  
Di: You really scare me.  
  
Giraffee: .  
  
Edward: He says he knows.  
  
Di: I meant you.  
  
Edward: Yay!!! 


	4. Chapter 4 Period 4 and THAT'S ALL!

**************************

Sorry it took so long.

I had no computer over break.

Please don't hurt me…

**************************

****

Period 4 (Tech Ed.)

Edward: YAY!!!! SAWS!!!!!

Pichu: Can I cut my finger, oh wait, hands, yeah that's it, can I PLEASE cut off my HAND!!!!

Mewtwo: Okay, have fun!

Edward: OHHH!!! OHHHH!!! CAN I CUT IT OFF FOR YOU??? PLEASE!!!!!!

Ryan: You are losing your minds….. if anyone cuts off any fingers, it will be me.

Mrs. Barrett (teacher): Whoever cuts their fingers off first gets a candy bar!!!

(Mewtwo, Di, Edward, Ryan, and Pichu get into running positions.)

Mrs. Barrett: I was kidding… -_-;

Jenny: (not listening) Ready… Set… GO!!!!!

(They take off and run to the saws.)

Mewtwo: Awww… my fingers are too flat and I can't operate the saw…

Pichu: I can't reach the f***ing implement of destruction…

Ryan: Who ever said that I was cutting my fingers?

Edward: Awww… I'm Russian and I'm invincible so there is no way I can cut my fingers…

Can I have the can- IT'S MINE GIVE IT TO ME!!!

Mrs. Barrett: [sigh] … NO IT'S MINE!!!!

Edward: Okay, didn't have to yell, geez…

Di: Aww… I was already cutting my fingers…

Mrs. Barrett: -_-

Class: O_O

Ryan: Di, give me some ideas.

Di: Okay… Mrs. Barrett says 'Today, we're working on birdhouses-"

Mrs. Barrett: Today, we're working on birdhouses-

Di: Please wait till I'm finished.

Mrs. Barrett: Sorry.

Di: And then Mewtwo says, 'NO!!! LET'S DO PLUSHIES!!!' and then Mrs. Barrett says, 'But we

use wood not cotton.' And then Mewtwo says, 'SO!!!'

Mewtwo: NO!!! LET'S DO PLUSHIES!!!

Mrs. Barrett: But we use wood not cotton.

Mewtwo: SO!!!

Di: [sigh] (smiling) What an ending.

Ryan: Who ever said that this was the ending?

Di: Awww, it's not?

Ryan: No, that was the end of computer club; I can always work on it at home.

Di: Oh. Do we have computer club in the actual story?

Ryan: Of course we do, I'm including all normal activities that go on at Horizon Community Middle School.

Pichu: What's that?

Mrs. Barrett: Can we please move on and work on our birdhouses?

Mewtwo: I'm already done (holds up finished birdhouse). I used psychic powers to nail in psychic nails and covered it with my psychic paint.

Pichu: Why is it purple?

Mewtwo: I said 'covered it with psychic paint.'

Pichu: Yea, I know, but why is it purple?

Mewtwo: Because it is a psychic color.

Pichu: YEA, BUT WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE THE F***ING COLOR PURPLE?!?!?!?!

Mewtwo: BECAUSE YOU HATE IT!!!!!!!!! OKAY?!?!?!?!

Pichu: Okay.

Mewtwo: -_-;;;;;;;;;

Mrs. Barrett: Can the rest of you finish the f***ing project?

Class: O_O;;; Okay, fine.

(40 minutes later, class finishes their projects.)

DING!!!DING!!!DING!!!

Mrs. Barrett: -_- Okay, you're free to go… I'm really looking forward to seeing you tomorrow.

Pichu: Really?

Mrs. Barrett: No.

Pichu: Awww. Was that am example of sarcasm?

Mrs. Barrett: Why do you ask, Mr. Intellectual?

Pichu: You really think so?

Mrs. Barrett: Hell. No.

Pichu: (very perky) Okay! (takes off to next class)

*************************

Sorry it was so short.

I am in need of some ideas, here's the lesson plan that's coming up:

PeriodClassTeacherExplanation of Class (if needed)

5Advanced OptionsMrs. BrownClass for very smart kids, various 

activities go on including bridge building, reading clubs etc.

6LunchN/AIn commons. Do I really need to 

explain?

7Social StudiesMr. G (G for short) Very hard class. G is a slacker. 

His favorite things to call kids are slackers and hoodlums.

8ScienceMs. CarrThis class is kind of hard and the 

teacher is very strict.

*************************


	5. Chapter 5 Advanced Options

Disclaimer: I don't…..duhhhhhhh………..

****

Advanced Options

Jenny: I've always hated this class.

Ryan: I totally agree.

Mrs. Brown: I will be your teacher.

Di: And?

Edward: Russians have no need for teacher, russians just get nuclear weapons for birthday, period.

Ryan: Then why are you here?

Edward: Good point. I think it was because at age 3, I tried to blow up China with my first nuclear missle.

Di: (scooting away) I see…

Mrs. Brown: In this class, you will have the choice to go in different other classes. And, here they are:

A: Discover Minerals

B: Hit rocks with hammers.

C: Hit rocks with swords.

D: Hit rocks with more rocks.

E: Blow up rocks with contained semi-nuclear weapons that still have the power to destroy the 

world.

(Edward grins evilly.)

Jenny: I like this class.

Mrs. Brown: Okay now just write your choice on a piece of paper and give them to me.

(Class finishes and gives teacher papers.)

(At end of class, Mrs. Brown posts assignments.)

Choice B Choice C Choice D Choice E Choice A

JennyMarthMewtwoEdwardDi

MarioRoyPichuRyan

Fiery26Some peopleSome People

Some people

(Everyone looks at Di.)

Di: What?


	6. Chapter 6 Lunch and the Appearence of a ...

****************

I need reviewers!!!

I need a reason to continue….

Oh well…

****************

Disclaimer: Let's see…………………….. I… uhhh… What was I doing again?

****

Lunch

Di: Did the bell even ring?

Ryan: No. We just left a minute-

RINGRINGRING

Ryan: -early. That way we can get ahead of the little f***ers that are coming…

(stampeding feet are heard as hundreds, no, thousands of small 6th graders come running down the halls)

Roy: (screaming like a girl) RUN!!!

(They all take off toward the commons and into the lunch line.)

Mewtwo: MOVE!!! (using psychic to move ahead in line)

Pichu: You know Mewtwo, there is something called "taking turns."

Mewtwo: Really? Let me know more about this "taking turns."

Pichu: Really? You really want me to teach you about the wonders of sharing???

Mewtwo: ………

Pichu: So is that yes or no?

Mewtwo: ………

NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pichu: Okay, geez, didn't have to yell.

(Jenny comes over and socks Mewtwo in the face.)

Mewtwo: OWW!!!!!!! WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!?!?!

Jenny: For existing.

Mewtwo: WELL, THA-

(Mewtwo is cut off as he gets hit again.)

Mewtwo: AND, THAT WAS FOR?

Jenny: Talking… and existing.

(Mewtwo mumbles something under his breath.)

Jenny: WHAT DID YOU S- Oh, it's our turn for food. I want a… piece of cheese pizza.

Mewtwo: I'll take a piece of pepperoni pizza.

Ryan: BEEF EATER!!! BEEF EATER!!! AHAHAHA (starts foaming at the mouth and rocking back and forth in fetal position) LKASJNDFKJPW'QE;FOW'IFJJLKSAHDHCKJDGHFHSDKMHKJCAHSDFPWJKREFKJKSAL;DJFLKJSADFP]JAPWREIJFSDJF!!!!!!

Roy: What was that?!?!

Di: Oh, don't worry, we always get like this during lun- LJASDHNFJWAPOEOK'DWKHUOFDHOJDSPSKFJUHDPKWRUGOIJSDFJEORHFKOHAIOEHR!!!!

LiLZelda: It's a very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very important talent.

SSB Crew: WHERE ON EARTH DID SHE COME FROM?!?!?! RUN AWAY!!!!!!!! DI, WHAT DID YOU DO WITH THAT ANTI-LILZELDA SPRAY?!?!?!!

Di: LJAHCLHIYSOD;HIAUEDDLDOJFJDFWPIEJP???

SSB Crew: AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

(LiLZelda disappears.)

SSB Crew: *phew*

(LiLZelda reappears)

SSB Crew: AAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

(This goes on until lunch ends.)

Dean: Okay everyone, go to your SSR classes.


	7. Chapter 7 The Trouble Making Banana

The Trouble Making Banana

  


Disclaimer: :P Ya think?

  


Yo, it's me, the Dedede123. Yeah, I'm Di, the guy who's taking over Ryan's fics!! MUHAHAHAHAHAHA... at least until Ryan gets back from Italy.

  


So, anyway....... it's now recess.....

  


Ryan: And this is what it's like outside, I think.....

Di: Hey, look, it's a new game!

Marth: What's it called?

Ganondorf: I don't know... 

Kirby: It looks like a game of kickball!

Ryan: (evil smirk)

Everyone else: (evil smirk)

Kirby: O.O What? Why are you all looking at me like I'm a freak or something...

  


Later

  


Kirby: EYAH!

Marth: I got him, I got him! (catches Kirby, throws at Mr. Game and Watch, who is at Base 2)

Game and Watch: Bleep! Bleep, ack! (Throws at running Link)

Link: You'll never get me!!! (somehow runs at speed of light and gets home run)

C. Falcon: I thought I was supposed to run at the speed of light.

Y.Link: Looks like somebody just lost their day job.

C. Falcon: There's always my night job.

Y. Link: Which is?

C. Falcon: A prostitute!

Y. Link: (anime fall)

C. Falcon: That's right! (Salutes) Show your boobs!

Peach: I'm up!

Roy: Like you'd hit anything.

Di: Yeah, get on of your Toads to do the job.

Peach: (shows angry face)

Di: Oh god.....

  


5 minutes later

  


Di: ....... moo....

Lydia: How sad.

Di: How'd you get here?

Lydia: Illogical spontaneous movement. (Disappears in a whirlwind of steel axes)

Di: .....baa..... (falls)

Ryan: Sucks for you. I'm up. (Kicks Kirby..... very high)

C. Falcon: I'll get it! (Runs at speed of light)

Link: No, I got it! (Runs at speed of light ....... x 2)

  


In the sky.....

  


Lakitu: What a great day to go cloud fishing... (Kirby whacks Lakitu) HEY!!! (throws a Spiny at Kirby, deflates) Good .... HEY, I GOT SOMETHING!! It's.....

  


Back down in the ground

  


D.K. : HELP!!! I TOOK A GREEN BANANA AS BAIT AND I'M SLOWLY FLOATING UP IN THE SKY!!!!!

Di: Who cares?

D.K.: I do!!!!

(All Smashers try to pull D.K. down)

  


Lakitu: Whoo!!! This guy ate some real s*** down there... Keep pulling!!!

  


Back with Link and C. Falcon

  


Link: I got..... hey, where'd he go?

C. Falcon: COMING THROUGH!

(Two collide.... and a banana comes out and somehow whacks Dr. Mario)

Dr. Mario: OW!

(Banana now collides Lakitu)

  


Lakitu: OW!!!!!!! (drops fishing rod) There went my only chance to get my love....

  


(Smashers fall back and somehow collide into giant pit)

(Team Rocket appears out of a bush)

  


Jesse: Prepare for... (banana hits Jesse, flies into James which flies into Meowth, which sends them all fliying)

Di: This is why I never involve in anything.

Ryan: Well, you're involved in it now. (Pushes Di into pit)

Di: Ah!!!!!!!!1

Ryan: Sayonara, sucker!!!

  
  


Edward: Where am I? RUSSIAN PEOPLE DESERVE, IF ANYTHING, MORE RESPECT THAN YOU!!

Di: Just taking over for a couple weeks.

Edward: Not anymore..... (starts to charge up for powerful punch)

Di: Maybe a couple of reviews will stop this reckless fate of mine..


End file.
